


The New Day is a Great Big Fish

by Zoya1416



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: Disguised as Boys, Escaping Traditional Female Roles, F/M, Finding brothers, Girls going to war, or Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-12
Updated: 2014-03-12
Packaged: 2018-01-15 10:55:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1302304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoya1416/pseuds/Zoya1416
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Betty Manickle is pregnant and decides to follow her Johnny into Borogravia's war with Zlobenia.</p><p>Spoilers for Monstrous Regiment</p>
            </blockquote>





	The New Day is a Great Big Fish

**Author's Note:**

> It's all Terry Pratchetts

In the end, Shufti found him. She took Polly and Tonker with her when Major Clogston called her in. He was standing in a room with his trousers down to his knees.

Major Clogston said, “Is this the one? The general has asked me to tell you there will be a dowry of five hundred crowns, with the army's compliments.”

Three weeks ago she would have taken him back just for the sixpence he'd stolen from her. He'd taken it saying that he'd find a blacksmith to break it off in a vise, so they'd each have half to remember the other by. Then he'd never come back. Her oldest sister told her that 'Aurevoir' wasn't his last name, just a foreign way of saying goodbye. She was pregnant and thought she loved him. Or at least needed him, because a bastard child was a shame forever.  
=========  
Betty knew she was pregnant even before she'd missed a period. She had five older sisters and could retell their horror stories word for word. So when her breasts began to tingle, even before she became nauseated a few days later, she didn't hesitate long. Johnny had joined the Borogravian army, and she had to find him for the baby's sake. 

She cut off her hair, raggedly, got some old trousers and an older shirt from one of her dead brother-in-laws. It hadn't been wasted, not in this remote corner of a poor country, but was about to be put under the dog. The main thing was that they were a bit too large for right now. That was the important thing.

When the recruiter asked for her name, she'd nearly panicked, but remembered some slang, this time from a brother-in-law who'd returned alive but without his right arm.

“'N' the las' thin' I remember was that I was goin' off to hav' a quick shufti—it means a quick look around, you lot! It's not 'bout pissing!” Or several other things that the women had been imagining, by the looks on their faces.

So now she was Shufti, with the Tenth Foot, light infantry, the Ins-and-Outs, and, weirdly, the Cheesemongers. None of the names meant anything. She wished she'd brought some cheese, but an onion was all she could take, running away as fast in the morning as she had.

She'd joined the army, trying to pass as a boy, but wasn't long before she was unmasked. The other boys kept her secret. She'd cooked for them, using no more than an old breastplate and horse meat pounded flat. She had seen horrible things—would never forget the old man and his wife, and burying them.

She'd pulled carrots and parsnips from their garden, and rounded on Wazzer when she objected. “It'd be s-stealing from the dead.”

She'd amazed herself by saying, “Well, if they object they can hold on, can't they?  
They're underground already!”

She'd visited a house of ill-repute! More like a tent of ill-repute, where the army was encamped, and helped Sgt. Jackrum and Perks steal women's clothes. She'd plundered beef for the squad, and found out they were all girls, who'd volunteered for their own reasons. She knew she'd have to get into the castle keep. He'd be in the keep if he was anywhere.

It was very confusing at the end. They'd been captured by the enemy. Somewhere in there she'd hit a man with a copper washing stick, and knocked him out. Lofty blew out the doors of their prison, and Lt. Blouse opened all the prison doors, letting their soldiers out. THEN they'd been locked up by their own side. There was talk of court-martial, but then they'd have to be real soldiers. Sgt. Jackrum walked into a room of officers who were trying to think about what to do with a pack of girls. He'd sent out some of the officers, and talked to others, and they were all women! Even the general!

Now she was looking at a pretty boy named Johnny, with blonde hair, one gold earring, a carbuncle on his backside. Major Clogston had offered her a dowry of five hundred crowns, more money than she could earn in five years, if she married him. She could have a father for her child—who was a faithless thief.

She didn't know she had the courage before she said it, but she looked at him and said, “No, that's not him. My boy must have died.”

He tried to say something and Polly told him to shut up.

Even when Major Clogston had offered her a marriage certificate, a ring, AND a widow's pension, she'd refused. For one thing, he wouldn't be dead and would find her and try to start wheedling her around again.

The guards had started to haul him out, and she'd yelled, “Before they take you away I want my sixpence back, you son of a bitch!” It felt wonderful.

Polly's brother Paul had been rescued, and he was sweet-natured, and strong. She moved into the Duchess Inn with them. She had her kitchen, she had Paul, and she had little Jack. She also had her memories of being one of Sgt. Jackrum's little lads, a pack of frightened young girls pretending to be boys, who for a few short weeks had been shaked and pounded and baked into a troop of something far greater than anyone had dreamed of. 

She touched the picture of the Duchess which hung on a ribbon around her neck. The army had decided to give them a medal. It wasn't a wedding ring, or a dowry, or a fake marriage certificate. This was honest and she had earned it by rights.

She roused herself, bustling around her kitchen, checking the special drinks she was serving tonight. Maladicta and Polly were coming, and she needed a lot of coffee for that pair.

And the new day was a great big fish.

**Author's Note:**

> Borogravia's National Anthem
> 
> Awake, ye sons of the Motherland!  
> Taste no more the wine of the sour apples  
> Woodsmen, grasp your choppers!  
> Farmers, slaughter with the tool formerly used for lifting beets the foe!  
> Frustrate the endless wiles of our enemies  
> We into the darkness march singing  
> Against the whole world in arms coming  
> But see the golden light upon the mountain tops!  
> The new day is a great big fish!


End file.
